Letters From a Regency Heart #3

As I sit here listening to the beautiful, gorgeous and most incredibly lovely soundtrack to the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, I am attempting to write this post. Just thought you might want to know...it's what I do as I write. I listen to music.
I feel like I've disappeared from my blogging world for a long time... (can't imagine why I feel like that, seeing as how.......I have. :P) and I miss it. A lot of things have changed since April, I can certainly tell you that, and I would venture to say they are all GOOD things. I've certainly been blessed by God in this stage of my life. I will be going to college in a week... crazy stuff. But all that to say, my blogging has suffered....and it shouldn't. Oh, I've had time to write...but to be perfectly honest I just don't know quite what to do after I finish this last post of my character diary. Inspiration comes to me, certainly. I love words, and I love to just think and write what comes to my mind at times...but I am too critical when I do so. I find myself trying to think of the perfect thing to say.
Eloquent. Lovely. Inspired.
How do I write from my heart and translate it onto paper (or whatever form it may be)? Can I even do that, and make sense? Haha! I'm not sure...  The first time I came upon my good friend, Hayden's blog, Story Girl, I literally fell in love with it. But not just the layout, or the subjects of the things she blogged about; but the beauty of her words and the creativity of her mind. Her, and her lovely sister, Emily (my dear Jane ;)) are both talented, beautiful girls. Talking with them in person, and watching them act in drama club with me was always inspiring as well. And I love gaining inspiration and creativity from the things that we talk about. =)
So anyways, I guess I say all this, just to let you know that I am excited to start blogging again. Because I love beautiful things...beautiful words. And creativity.  

So, my friends. I've kept you waiting long enough I should think. Here is the last entry from my character diary as Elizabeth Bennet. I'm quite fond of it.

                                                                              ****

Pemberly, Nov. 25, 1812

My Dearest Father,

You implored me to write while I was away with Aunt and Uncle, so I shall do so now. My second tour of Pemberly is so far removed from the first that I wonder at it being the same place...and the owner being the same person. He is so changed.

I am no longer afraid and embarrassed to be seen touring the grand rooms, and I am in awe of them all over again. I am seeing them in a new light, really. I realize that this will soon all be mine as well as Darcy's. Is it rude of me to say that I would not have it any other way? It was here that I first began to feel that I could love Mr. Darcy. Here that I found I could learn to love the man I had sworn to hate for all eternity. The man I had misjudged so cruelly. The man who implored me to realize that there was more to him than I had ever thought. The man who, after Lydia's ruin, I never thought I'd see again. The man who loves me still, in spite of my blindness and pride. Can it be Papa? You once told me that I was your dear Lizzy, and that you could not have parted with me for anyone less worthy. But I beg to turn that around. Am I worthy enough to have someone like Darcy? Lady Catherine has denounced him for declaring his intentions to marry me. He says it matters not, but father....it is his aunt! She is his last living relation besides Georgiana and C. Fiztwilliam. While I confess I do not wish to ever see her again, I would endure it for his sake.

I can hear your voice in my head, telling me to trust him in this. I shall try.

Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery, for mine will no longer. I have told Darcy that he must warn his servants sufficiently of the family which he is marrying into. He laughed and declared that it would add greatly to his happiness if he could see you all at Pemberley often. You, Papa, have received a most gracious offer to use the library as much as you please, and I daresay you will be quite content with that, will you not? He has books enough to last you a lifetime and more. Ptolemy and Aristotle are among some of the finest bindings and editions I have ever seen, and he tells me they are for my pleasure as much as his. I don't believe I will read such things until I have nothing else to occupy my days. I would be asleep before the first page ended, and that's all there is to it.

When Darcy and I are married I would very much wish you to come here as much as you chuse, for I miss the days when we escaped to your study for hours and hours. No cares in the world could be found in that place. And while we are on the subject of cares, you may inform mother that Darcy has agreed to let her use the north wing of the house as a seasonal home upon the occupancy of Longbourn by the Collins'...which, for your sake and mine, please do not make that event come soon. I intend to keep you here for the rest of my life at least. I will have you know, Mother has determined that you will not die very soon at all now that the stress and nerves you suffered from, in the quest to get Jane and I married well, has been lifted from you. She declares that you must have been sorely stressed indeed to be in your study on numerous occassions....and the flutterings and spasms she suffered from were nothing in comparison with yours, surely. I laugh at the thought of you in such a state as that. It is not possible at all, I daresay.

I fear I must leave off now, for Georgiana desires me to practice a duet with her. I pity the souls who have to sit and watch. She plays beautifully and need not be hindered by my lack of skill, but I will do so if she begs it of me, will I not?

Until I return to you, Papa, know that I am indeed happier than ever. I am surrounded by good company, and learning to be quite content with the blessings I have been given. Vanity and pride are no longer our to give to the world...I will leave that to someone else.

Your Loving Daughter,

Lizzy

****

Thank you for reading! I'm already working on my next post. It will be out by the beginning of next week. =)

Yours &c.,

Kayla Marie

Letters From a Regency Heart #2

This is the second entry for my character diary. This is a diary entry, and not a letter.
Background information: Elizabeth has been at Hunsford Parsonage in Kent, and there met Mr. Darcy again. She recently found out that Darcy was responsible for talking Bingley into leaving Netherfield months before, and soon after she received this report he proposed to her. Hmmmm... 

~~~~~~~

April 2, 1812
I have received an offer of marriage from Mr. Darcy. Or shall I say, an offer of marriage and an insulting degradation of my character and family all in one. I am both shocked and angry, though the latter has recently taken precedence. That he should come here and declare his love for me and his contempt for my friends and family all in the same breath! I cannot fathom the audacity of the man, nor the reason he might think I would accept him. He seemed fully confident that he would receive a favourable reply, but I had on intention of giving him one. From the very first day of my aqquaintance with him I realized that he was a proud, arrogant man. This great flaw in his character is made greater in my mind by the hand which he has had in separating Bingley and Jane, as well as the deprivation of Wickham of his rightful place in the Pemberly parish. How can one man cause such turmoil? He declared his reasons for separating Bingley and Jane were because of his belief in her indifference, but only a man truly blind to the world could fail to see her affection for him if even the slightest attempt at observation were made. No, I cannot feel anything but abhorrence for Mr. Darcy and his insufferable pride, and I wish I could have never met him! Jane would try to talk me out of my hard opinion of him, but I will not be moved... I know realize I can say nothing of this to Jane. My reasons for refusing are too connected to the truth about Bingley's departure, and to tell her would surely cause a return of all the heartache that she has tried so hard to push away. I must keep this to myself.

****

April 3, 1812

Charlotte begged me to take a walk this morning. She says that I have been in a foul mood...and I suppose she is right. But my walk this morning has not served to ease my countenance. I met Mr. Darcy upon the lane, and he implored me to read a letter which he had written in hopes of seeing me there. In it were the explanations of the allegations I had laid against him. He says that Wickham ran away with his sister last year intending to gaining her inheritance once he had convinced her to elope with him. Darcy intercepted them though and Wickham fled. At first I could not believe it! How could I when Wickham had been nothing but kind to us? Yet Darcy's letter was written in such an imploring manner, in such eagerness to have me know what really happened, that I can now have no second thoughts about who Wickham is. We have all been horribly deceived, and Mr. Darcy has taken unfathomable blame for something he had no choice but to do. Ashamed is perhaps too mild a word to tell what I feel about how I have acted in this case. My willingness to believe Wickham's story came from infatuation, and it blinded me to his true character. I now see that one has all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.

As to the other matter, the separation of Mr. Bingley and Jane, I cannot consider forgiving him for that just yet. Though he says it was only for the reason to protect his friend, I still am pained by the fact that he kept them apart while she was in London. Surely her appearance there must have been confirmation enough...

My mind is in such confusion...I know not what I can think of him...

Elizabeth

~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

Yours &c.,

Kayla Marie

Letters from a Regency Heart #1

I was recently in my homeschool drama group's spring production, directed by the EXTREMELY talented Mrs. Elizabeth Potry. Each year, she asks us to write a  "diary" in the mindset of the character that we are to be performing as in the spring play. A character diary is basically just a creative writing exercise that she gives us to help us get into the mindset of our character, where we have to write some of the events of the play as if it were three diary entries. This year we had the immense privilege to perform Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I was Elizabeth Bennet, and decided to write two of my entries as letters to friends/family of Lizzy, and the other one as a regular diary entry. I really enjoyed pouring out my creativity into these, and decided that I would share them with you. Please, if you like them, let me know what you think of them. If you don't like them...well, I'd still like to hear your thoughts. =) 

Background information: This is letter #1. Elizabeth is writing to her dearest friend, Charlotte Lucas. Lizzy and Jane have recently returned from an extended stay at Netherfield Hall... and Mr. Collins is due to arrive the next day. ;)

~~~~~~

Longbourn, Nov. 17, 1811

Dear Charlotte,
I have decided that with this dreadful rain that has fallen upon us, I shall write to you so that we may be Entertained. I shall let the postman get wet, and spare my mother the opportunity of imposing upon the young men left in Hertfordshire as she has done to poor Jane. (Though, I daresay Mr. Bingley is certainly amiable enough to do such a thing to.) Our preparations for the Netherfield Ball are underway. Gowns are being remade, and bonnets (which are to be worn the day of the ball, and aren't even to be seen at the event which causes me to wonder at their usefulness) are being decorated with ribbons and lace, according to mother's wishes. All of Meryton is now aware that we are to attend the Netherfield Ball. Mother is quite aflutter with said preparations and Lydia and Kitty are quick to follow suit. Just between you and I, they seem to me to be like the fowl in our sideyard-- clucking and carrying on in a flurry of motion. It seems we have been to town more times in the past week that we even journey in a month-- rain and all. Every time mother sees Mr. Bingley's carriage pass by the lane, she makes certain he knows of her excitement for the ball and her willingness to help with the preparations. It is all we can do to keep her from chasing the carriage down the street, with her rambling away about this and that. Caroline has thankfully told her that her services are 'appreciated', but not needed, and I shock myself that we are in agreement over Something. If Jane is to one day marry Mr. Bingley, I do hope mother's lodgings will remain here at Longbourn, for if not, Caroline will finally have reason to fully extend her claws. Mother talks incessantly about the silliest things and Caroline has no scruples about making her sentiments known.
Mary has been practising a new piano piece, and I fear she desires to play it at Netherfield. This would not be a grevious thing, but you know that none of us are great proficients at the instrument, though Mary certainly tries. Yet mother says that Mr. Bingley is pleased with her efforts to provide entertainment. Mother seems to think he is an Angel with no faults whatsoever. I jest to Jane that I would be inclined to like him more if he read more often, but he enjoys the out-of-doors, so I can forgive him that. As for his friend, since you care to know what I think of him, I shall tell you. I do not hate the man, but neither can I stand him. He is vain, and his pride...it prevents him from seeing what is good in this world. No doubt his pride comes from owning £10,000 a year and the miserable half of Derbyshire. But I shall speak no more on the subject, and beg you to do the same. I am scarcely touched by his refusal to dance at Meryton, or his confusing attentions at Netherfield. If I do talk more of him, let it be to laugh at his follies and his character, in which I chuse to find humour.

Hill is again calling me down for breakfast, so I shall post this letter and meet you at Netherfield in a se'enight, if not before.

Until then my dear friend, I remain,
Yours &c.,
 Lizzy

~~~~~~~~~

So, that's it for this entry. We were only allowed to write two full pages for each one...so it couldn't be as lengthy as I would have liked. ;) But I tried to keep in the style of how they would have written in the Regency Era. The words that are misspelled are deliberate...and the random capital letters are too. haha! =)

In case you were wondering: "Hill" is the Bennet's housekeeper

                                                 A "se'enight" is just another word for a week.

I will be posting the second diary entry in a few days, so stay tuned if you enjoyed this one!

Subscribe or follow... over here on the sidebar if you please =) ----------> 

I'd love to hear from you, and know what you thought! Comment box is down below the post <3
Yours &c.,

Kayla Marie

Writing... Letters From a Regency Heart

First I will state my reasons for this blog:
Writing for me, can be an outlet to express my truest feelings. In my writings, fiction or otherwise, I feel I can be myself, I can open doors that I wouldn't dare to open in face-to-face conversation...I can give you a glimpse of me, of who I am now, and show you the me I want to be one day. The person who is wholly God's, and wholly true. The person who is real. Because in finding who I am, I want you to find a girl who is not fake, not willing to settle for the kind of acceptance that the world can give, not willing to be someone I'm not in order to find fame and fortune. I want to be a girl who is following my Savior, Jesus Christ, every day, and not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. A lofty goal, perhaps, but it's what I long for.
In my posts I will not attempt to "bare my soul and tell the most appalling secrets" as Amy March says in Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, but what I will try to do is to give you enjoyment and laughter, things to ponder, and things to remember if they are beneficial in your life as well. I may have a burst of inspiration and post insanely long posts, or I may not have much to say at all on any given day... but what I do post, I promise it will be from the heart.

In this blog I would love to hear from those of you who may have something to say. Comment on what you wish, and most of all, enjoy the occasional bits of randomness and thoughtful creativity that makes up my life. It's not always there, but trust me, when I do have something to say and I get to writing/posting, I enjoy it immensely.

A few things about me that may or may not interest you. ;) I'd love to hear about you! If you have a blog, please leave a comment with a link to it! I'll check it out and subscribe. =)

I am a child of God
I am shy
I am dramatic
I am a music lover
I am a Jane Austen fan
I am a romantic at heart (though not quite as much as Marianne Dashwood)
I am a reader
I am still a child at heart sometimes (Disney has made sure of that)
I am an actress
I am a daughter and a sister
I am....me.

Yours &c.,
Kayla Marie